Day By Day
(Written 7/29/96)

I take a look at the calendar,
I tear off another sheet.
there was nothing written there,
I crumpled it up and tossed it away.
I threw another day away.

Hopeless is all I am,
all my dreams fall from my hand.
I woke up today and all I aspired to be,
was no longer sleeping beside me.

No hugs or kisses, on good-byes
now only emptiness fills my guise.
All they left was a note reading "I Hate You".
Left on the night stand.
Now in this tattered soul, I sleep alone.
I see all I ever want to attain,
just get further and further away.
It's getting close to the vanishing point,
but I never see the end of this staircase,
I have no strength to climb anymore.

How much longer can I keep tossing days away?
How much longer can I keep taking steps away?
How much longer I can't live this way?
How much longer can I hurt this way?

Are there any more pieces of me to loose?
How long can I hold on to this fraying thread,
with bloody hands, my own I've shed?
How many nails are in the coffin are left,
before I am dead?

I am so lost and torn inside,
I am feeling zombified,
good but not good enough,
cool but not cool enough.
Lint won't buy me lov

 

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Joshua S. Bell
icbod@spy.net