Tragically Alive

She's not afraid of it anymore
She's just not living for the moment
and another moment goes by
another word flows out of her pen
and line by line
She lays it all out on the line

She lets the words slowly pour from her mind
saying she's just been going through the motions all this time
she doesn't know what's left anymore
used everything that was left of her
she feels like a broken shell
cracked and coreless, just lying there

She's tragically alive
feeling so dead inside
only darkness remains
to show her the last of the light

She's' not afraid

She picks up the blade
her only tool, the last escape
the sun glints off it, in to her eyes
the only light in her soulless empty stare
darkness falls as she closes the curtain one last time
no one will see her commit the crime of suicide

She's been lost all this time
She's never felt right anywhere, anyway
She's drawn her own finish line
she finally peeled her mask away
she realizes how worthless it truly is
everything isn't fine, it's not make-believe time

She's tragically alive
She feels so dead inside
the marks have been made
they've been there since last time

She's not afraid anymore

She'll do it right this time
finally get something right in her life
before her final demise
it's the story of her life
still so dead, so dead inside, there's no doubt in her mind
She'll get it right, this one last time

There'll be no snickers or unwanted stares
no curious questions, leading to her depression anymore
no more struggling to get up because she's still so beaten down
She can't live with life anymore
too tired of walking the line
in this endless rut, she just wants to fall off

She's tragically alive
She feels like dying tonight
sees herself six feet under
she thinks she'll like it down there

She's going to die

She flicks it open and presses it in
cuts so deep, her twin vertical lines
no scars this time, just open eyes
rivers of crimson soak into the floor, her tears of painful joy
a silver scream escapes though her gritting grin of agonizing delight
She's finally happy, she's dying tonight

She was tragically alive
she is dead, she is gone
as blackness covers, she's faded away
only darkness remains, where she lay

She wasn't afraid, she wasn't afraid, she wasn't afraid

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Joshua S. Bell
icbod@spy.net